


Sex's own life

by ZerpentEle



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale has struggles, Aziraphale thinks the worst of himself, Comforting Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley is k, Embarrassment, Happy Ending, Hiding in the Bathroom, Kind Words, M/M, Overthinking, Post-Apocalypse, Running, Shame, Supportive Crowley, assuring words, awkward boner, cursing this organ, failed masturbating, sort of a ruined morning, sweet words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:00:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27269122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZerpentEle/pseuds/ZerpentEle
Summary: Aziraphale gets a boner while they're cuddling and can't handle this mistake.Crowley does not mind at all, but Aziraphale minds a bit too much and leaves.Another sweet rescue-mission for the demon.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Sex's own life

Crowley was the first to wake up.   
Closely wrapped to Aziraphale’s chest he noticed the angel was not breathing.   
Nothing to worry about, he always forgets to breath when he falls asleep, which was happening rarely. 

Aziraphale was the one staying awake when they cuddled.   
Still caressing Crowley, while the demon slowly drifted off and most of the times waiting for him to wake up. 

Carefully Crowley adjusted his body and settled again. In addition, suddenly noticed Aziraphale wasn't that dead to the world after all. Better not all of him. 

Crowley had suspected it. Whenever he woke up alone or right when Aziraphale was leaving, strangely unsettled and on a hurry. Although the angel’s hesitation and trouble was not new for Crowley, it is not common for him in his company.   
Now the dots connected.   
The angel had a boner. 

Unless Aziraphale had put something similar in his pockets while Crowley slept, but he was pretty certain, what pressed lightly against his tight, was a penis.

The demon found himself smiling at the realization Aziraphale truly made an effort and seemed to enjoy other pleasures than food and books.   
He was not sure, if the angel bothered himself with a genital just recently or if he had it for longer.   
But he was almost sure Aziraphale wasn't using it often. 

Crowley was as much happier he tried new stuff.   
Moreover, something so naughty out of all things. The demon was almost proud so to say. 

Crowley tightened and nestled his nose in Aziraphale’s clothes, inhaling deeply.   
Such a nice and lazy morning. 

Did not took long and Aziraphale slowly started to breathe again.   
Rapidly his hip disappeared.   
Crowley opened his eyes as the arms around him loosened and vanished.   
He watched Aziraphale slowly rear, apparently trying not to wake him up.  
Their eyes met.  
The Angel froze. Immediately and entirely. 

There was a moment of silence.   
Neither of them were moving a muscle.   
Although Aziraphale knew he would not have that much luck, he hoped Crowley was just sleeping with his eyes open. 

Whereas Crowley watched the angels eyes widen as if he had caught him in the act, he thought really hard about what to say to take that tension from him.  
Sadly, as he was on it, he made a terrible mistake.   
He blinked.   
And Aziraphale shattered. 

"Bollox! Crowley! Good Lor-", Aziraphale backed off so fast he almost was too quick for himself and fell from the bed. He caught himself in the last second.   
"Angel", Crowley called and shoot out in an attempt to grasp him, but Aziraphale recoiled, avoided his look, fingering and wrenching his clothes around the spot between his legs like a maniac.

"Sorry, Crowley, I'm so, so sorry. That's terrible, par- pardon me. I- I am just. Err.", he stammered, as he stumbled backwards, eyes jumping between floor, ceiling and walls. 

"Not. It's not-. Dear. Sorry. Please, err, excuse me. It's-. I mean I'm. That's-"

"Angel-", tried Crowley again but were cut of, as if Aziraphale did not even noticed it.

"Just… well. I'm sorry. Dear, terribly. I'm just- well- going. Please excuse me!"  
Finally, Aziraphale reached the door and disengaged as fast as he could, leaving Crowley behind, dumbfounded and resigned. 

Aziraphale shut the bathroom door behind him and rushed to the toilet.   
He needed to get rid of this hard thing immediately.   
With quivering and relentless fingers, he dragged his pajama down and his erection out, clenched his fist around it and began to beat it in the same breath.   
His head fell against the wall. 

"Drat it, drat it, drat it, drat it-", he ranted quietly, repeating it with pinched eyes over and over and over.   
Trying to distract himself from thinking about what had just happened.   
Trying to stop his mind from running wild.   
However, the remorse already stuck on his back, peaking over his shoulder and whispering into his ear. 

If he could just get his penis down this feeling would be gone too he thought, not even paying attention to it nor to his hand. 

He saw Crowley behind his eyes, felt his gaze on him, whiteout liking it. Felt like salt in a wound as his mind drove him back these moments ago, without him wanting it. 

Just need to get this over with, he tried to urge himself, moving his fist even faster to finally have the release, not feeling any joy coming from his motion. 

"Stupid", he scolded, "so stupid."   
Nevertheless, there was no escape as his thoughts forced him to picture what had happened again and again and shame began to fill his body.   
How he squeezed himself to Crowley.   
How unpleasant and awkward his dick protruded.   
How beyond all measures unfriendly it ended what had started as an innocent cuddle.   
Just because he could not let human matters be just human matters.   
Aziraphale’s eyes cast up and he let go of his election in disgust. 

What am I even doing? First, I harass a demon and then I have nothing else to do as to jerk off.   
Deeply he sighed.   
There are other ways to make it stop standing so pompous. 

He turned around and quickly looked away as he saw his head in the mirror above the sink, red as a berry.   
Meticulous he washed face, hands and neck with cold water, careful not to look in the mirror again. 

Then he took a deep breath and thought of the most disgusting things he had in mind.   
Spoiled oysters, rancid milk, moldy cake. 

He started to pace up and down, distracting himself with everything he could find.   
Bubbling nonsense, counting the tiles, reading the backs of shampoo bottles. 

However, it was not working. It was all so confusing.  
He had settled a bit but he did not felt any better and so he looked blaming down to his boner, which was neither coming nor leaving.   
Aziraphale was not fond of this situation at all. 

It was fun to play around with it. Now as he was free from Heaven, he had given in to this interesting matter, finally, really testing it in all practical purposes.  
But for all that how does it even look?  
An Angel trying bodily stuff?   
An Angel with an erection.

He did not deny how much he liked the pleasure, through what could he think of himself?   
Pressing himself to a dear one and trying to jerk off just seconds later.   
How could he even thought it would go well, laying besides Crowley with an active copulatory organ. 

On top of that, it was something he still couldn't handle quite enough once he let it be active to not let it do things he didn't wanted it to do.   
How many times he got away with it last minute?   
Why did he ignore all the warnings?   
Of course, that had to happen sooner or later.   
He should not have started with these things. 

It is fascinating and delightful and satisfying, but enough is enough.   
I am still an angel; he thought and lifted his hand for a snap to make his penis disappear together with all these bad things, which were involved around it.   
As it knocked. 

Aziraphale winced heavily and immediately his eyes drove to the door, widening in shock as Crowley caught him red-handed for the second time.

He dashed forward, overheard Crowley’s cautious question and locked the door as he screeched. 

"Don't come in!"

"Oi!", complained Crowley indignant, "I would not come in just like that, you know that!"

Aziraphale leaned against the wooden door and strained his ears, but heard nothing more.   
His panic faded away, leaving emptiness and nothing but an austere, bad feeling. 

He wanted nothing more as to just wind back and never let this mistake happen.   
He wanted simply to leave this whole situation.

Aziraphale shuddered as he imagined looking Crowley in the eyes again.   
It was so very embarrassing.   
Instead of just telling him about it, the first thing Crowley got to know about Aziraphale’s penis was to be woken by it.   
They never really talked about these things since… a damn long time, Rome most likely. Times have changed and now Aziraphale felt like an old ram, who is just doing things he was not asked for. What kind of an angel was he. 

Aziraphale rubbed his eyes, groaned and mumbled to himself to give vent to his anger.   
What is done cannot be undone, he thought, make it disappear would not change what had happened and would not make me feel any better, he realized and also noticed his boner was gone.   
However, it indeed changed nothing about his situation. 

Again, he sighed trouble as his mind pressed play and he had to undergo what had happened another time.   
He saw Crowley’s eyes, felt shame and regret as he ran away.   
Away from Crowley.   
By bubbling nonsense. 

And now he had locked the door at him as if he was some evil spirit.   
"Crowley", he called quietly, "are you still there?"   
"Of course, Angel."  
Aziraphale smiled as he heard his soft voice.   
"Unless you want me to go."

"No", said Aziraphale abrupt.   
He reached to unlock the door, but neither of them opened it. 

"I'm sorry, dear."  
"Yeah, I know, Angel."  
"I wish this faux pas didn't happened."  
Silence and Aziraphale began to wring his hands, playing with his ring. 

"I never wanted it to bother you”, he stated unsteady. 

"Angel, it-... You didn't bother me."   
Aziraphale heard his voice only subdued, but he was sure Crowley made a face. 

"But I woke you, didn't I? And it's hard and pressing and therefore annoying and also uncomfortable", Aziraphale was getting quiet with every word, "I mean what must have crossed your mind? Having me next to you and I get a- , err, an erection."

"Angel", he heard Crowley sigh.   
"I don't like to talk with a door, you know? Would you open it?" 

Aziraphale hesitated.   
He was insecure if he could step before him, if he could look him in his eyes. It's difficult to give account for himself.   
But more than anything he felt lonely.   
And Crowley was there. 

He reached for the handle, pushed it down and took a deep breath.   
As he opened the door he lifted his head automatically, expecting to see him, but there was nothing but an empty space. 

"Here"  
Aziraphale’s head swung around and he found Crowley sitting on the floor, leaning his back against the wall, smiling and his hand slightly waving. 

"Good morning, Angel."  
Aziraphale smiled back, "Good morning."

Then his eyes lowered again, as the shame had him back. 

He moved on the spot indecisive, bevor he decided to sit down as well and drew his legs to his chest.   
The only thing he thought of saying was to apologize again, but he assumed it would just annoy the demon to hear it again. 

Therefore, he played with his fingers and avoided Crowley’s look.

"You didn't wake me", Crowley finally said, "and it wasn't pushy in any way. The only thing crossing my mind was: Aziraphale has a boner, who would have thought."

"You mean you didn't mind it at all?" asked Aziraphale skeptical. 

"Look Angel, I didn't took it for anything bad, I didn't took it for anything good. You were still sleeping so I took it as an accident. Nothing more and nothing less."

"It's just-", the angel searched for words, "I can't control it. And a penis is a penis. And there are things it's there for. Although I obviously don't have it for these things, but there is still some kind of meaning to it, god and bad, developed through all these years, you know. I'm worried of what this means to you"- he struggled explaining himself and spoke faster and faster -"and this was definitely not the way I wanted to tell you about it. Nevertheless, I still took the risk, knowing very well this can and will happen. That was stupid”, he exclaimed and hid behind knees and arms, “I’m sorry."

Crowley groaned.   
"Don't make me say nice things to you! You know you're not stupid", he growled and pieced Aziraphale with his eyes.   
"I've been there too. A penis can be a dick and I understand you're embarrassed. Just-. Angel", his voice softened, "Look at me."

Aziraphale followed his request after a few seconds.   
"Who am I to judge?", asked the demon with a little smirk, "you really don't have to apologize that much, but I'm going to accept it if you feel better then."  
The Angel nodded. 

“You’re not not allowed to do things you want to do. Let me tell you I’m certain you will figure out how it all works. And you know what?"   
"What?"  
"I actually think it's pretty cool you enjoy such things, you cheeky fellow."

Aziraphale turned away again, but this time with a blush and wrinkles near his eyes. 

"Thank you”, he said and the heaviness had left his voice.  
"Aar, shut up", Crowley waved his hand.

“Sound as if you know what you’re talking about,” probed Aziraphale into it carefully. 

“Yeah kinda.”

Aziraphale asked him to continue with a silent look. 

“Yes, I have it too. Though I keep it separated here”, he tapped on his head, “and only make it usable when I want to. ‘S something you’ll get behind.” 

Aziraphale was not completely satisfied, but it was sufficient for now.   
"Feeling better?", asked Crowley, stood up and stretched his hand out. 

"Yes", answered Aziraphale, taking his hand and standing up as well, "back to bed?"

"Nah, not in the mood anymore."

Aziraphale stood close before the demon.  
His habit told him to adjust his clothes, to turn around and to go, but another feeling had grown stronger since the second first day. 

He wrapped his arms around Crowley, who did the same.   
"Aziraphale", Crowley whispered with a smile, "since when do you run from me."  
The Angel hugged him tighter.

"Wanna go out for brunch?"   
"Yes, that would be lovely dear."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
